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Fat Sex

This is a post I’ve been wanting to write for a while now, if you are a bit prudish, offended by sex or the idea of fat people having sex, you want to go find something else to occupy your 5 minutes as this is not for you. Also if any of my family members or friends are reading this, I recommend clicking the little x in the corner.

If you are still here, then fab, settle down and get cosy, maybe grab a biscuit (or three) and let’s talk about this taboo topic, which is often whispered about in hushed tones in alley ways behind a crispy crème, But i am here to shout loud and proud FAT GIRLS HAVE SEX and not only do we have sex but we have sex with men who find who desirable and want us. Shocking i know, do you need a minute to get over that fact? 

I have an active sex life and I am fat, who knew these two things could go together right? Shocking some might think, a few of you might even be disgusted and wonder how I lure these men to my cave of fatness, do I bribe them? Pay them? Beg and plead with them? and no these men aren't aliens, they walk among us, you could  be stood next to one in Starbucks or on the train. Madness i hear you say. It is none of these, they are willing participants and often come back time and time again because they like my body and what it looks like and can do and i guess because i'm good at it. 

Obviously I currently have a boyfriend so some of this post will cover my relationship with him and some of this post will cover my footloose and fancy free days before I got with him, when I dated a lot of guys, and before you assume they must have looked like someone who could play the beast in beauty and beast, I want to assure you I have dated some very good looking men, my friends have told me so, there has even been shock at some of the guys I’ve brought home and wonderment at how I managed it, The bottom line on this is that I have a decent personality and can hold a conversation. Fat is just part of who I am, it is not the sole entity of me and my personality and most guys understand this, also the guys I have dated haven’t had a fetish for fat girls and any guy who had tried to fetishize my body or just seen me as a fat girl got none of my time. This is my key message to you ladies, don’t think you have to take whatever you can get because you are fat, you are worth so much more than that and deserve a guy who will treat you with some respect , hell you need to treat yourself with some respect.

When I first started uni I was nowhere near as body confident as I am now. Sex was a lights off affair with me trying to hide my lumps and bumps, girls even though it is dark a guy can still feel your body and still knows you are fat, I don’t think you can hide that so get over it. It held me back for a while, I wouldn’t go on more than a few dates with a guys as i was scared of having to get naked and take things to the next level. One particular incident comes to mind, I was seeing this rugby player, he was popular and girls flocked around him fanning themselves and hoping to get his attention, yet he had chosen me, I was leaving this uni to go to Glasgow and had a leaving night with all my friends and this guy came over that night to seal the deal with me, I was nearly physically sick with nerves at him seeing me naked, his body could give David Beckham a run for his money, when he stripped down to his pants, I actually might have been sat there open mouthed fearing I was going to dribble. When I stripped off, did he run away crying? Did he need therapy to get over seeing my wobbly thighs, my stretch marked belly and my back fat? (These were the fears in the back of my mind,) No, he stayed and actually spent time caressing my body, I continued to see him on and off for a while when I was back from Glasgow and it was always him texting me. I learnt a valuable lesson that night, men don’t really care what you look like, they are just happy you are there, getting naked and are going to have sex with them. Sad but true.

I have a preference for slimmer guys, it is just how I am, sorry. There has been many a conversation with my friends and jokes that I might crush them with my big body, and I think that this is actually a fear of the bigger girl, we can’t get on top as we might be too heavy for them, when they are going down on us we might suffocate them with our thunder thighs and really we should just lie there in the missionary position so not to cause any injury or problems, well this is utter bullshit, I have never killed a man yet with my huge thighs, belly or boobs and I like to think if I did, he would die bloody happy. There aren’t many positions I can’t do, I have never had a guy ask to do something that I wasn’t able to do, if it is a bit difficult, we are both mature enough to make it work for us, if you are having sex with someone you should be able to say what is working for you or what isn’t and telling them that maybe they need to move your belly or whatever shouldn’t be an embarrassing, you are naked and inside each other for Christ sake, I think you are past being polite and being embarrassed and if you are or he is then maybe you shouldn’t be having sex. Yes I might get a bit sweatier than your average girl but again they don’t care, if they are doing it right, they should be hot and sweaty too, if not, they aren’t working hard enough and that is a whole other issue.

So how did I meet these guys? Online mostly, I used the standard dating websites, I was always very honest and open about being bigger (not that they couldn’t tell from my pictures) but I never wanted to end up in a situation where they were disappointed after being given false pretences of me being a size 6, it ends up being awkward for both you and it can really hurt your ego. Like I said most guys just didn’t care. I would say in my last few years in Glasgow I dated about 60 guys (dated does not meant slept with).

The sex I have now with my boyfriend is firstly fulfilling but also a constant boost to my confidence, he always tells me how much he loves my body, he genuinely finds my figure sexy and knowing that he likes it is a turn on for both of us. I now happily wonder around naked without a care in the world. Sex is a lights on affair at any time of the day and not under the covers. I proudly display my body knowing that it is a great body, I have big breasts which men love, I have a nipped in waist and big hips, yes I have a belly, but I can’t be bothered to find flattering angles during sex or lie there sucking it in, it is just exhausting and means I am too busy concentrating on what I look like to just enjoy the moment.

How do you deal with fat sex? Have you learned to love your body and let others love it? I would love to hear your opinions.  If you have any comments or want to ask any questions but want to do so privately feel free to email me (link below)

Becky x 
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